I had a bit of an upset last night, as I was basically tying up a loose end that has been more than just a simple irritation of late. I have been the co-organizer of the Edmonton Women's group,and I had to take some drastic steps last night. The organizer, Sherley, while she is a very nice woman, and I enjoy her company as a person ~she and I have very very different organizing styles and have a different view on what the group should mean and the direction needed to make it a stronger viable alternative to spend our time on, especially when we both have very busy lives. So basically my options for myself had come down to ~ either she stepped down or I had to step away, well .... she feels she doesn't want to step down and so I went forward and said okay no hard feelings but I am stepping away. I know I put too much heart into things, and if I am involved with anything I put in usually 120% ~ therefore my attitude on things sometimes seems overboard, but being part of (a member only) another group, the 30 something, where Selene and I are becoming good friends, and she has alot of the same outlook and that group is thriving and getting better all the time, I feel that how I think is a good and strong way to deal with an internet group like that. I can't see myself being able to do that with the present leadership roles we are playing in the Edmonton Women's group ~ and all I have been is frustrated and unhappy ~ and everyone around me has stated that if it's not adding I need to make changes. I sat and trully thought about the changes I would have to make, and then had a meeting with Sherley last night.
So though I know I am doing the right thing, I feel I will be disappointing more than a few gals who really like who I am and what I have done with the group so far, so that made me a bit down ~ and I felt a bit disappointed that after all my efforts I really do need to step down. I was talking to her and I was at different points thinking "Well maybe I could make this work", and then she would say something and I would say to myself (there was alot of talkin my brain last night during this meeting haha) "um no that would drive me bonkers and I can't see us agreeing on that". She is a mellow soul and wants love and fun for everyone, I am a more hard ass woman who believes people need to be accountable and fair to the others of the group, and have no problem dealing with people that feel they can waste my time and the time of others. My end game is fun too ~ we just have very very different styles as to how we could accomplish that. So I need to step completely back and let her do it her way, I am very busy as it is and in truth I have more than enough other "social" things to do if I want ~and so I am good.
I was just feeling some lingering disappointment in ending my run as a co-organizer. In saying this I have one more scheduled event that I will host ~ we have a movie night tonight so I will get this done, and then tomorrow pull my status and let her take it away from this point forward. I am sure out of the 200 + women in that group she can find a co-organizer that better suits her style and viewpoints,and I can go back to joining the odd event ~ and letting the stress go that this has caused in the last weeks. Sherley and I were going to meet again on Thursday night again to discuss it some more (she was running short of time last night) but I think I am at peace with what I decided so I am good. A few of the girls suggested I start my own group, and Sherley agreed last night but I am not interested in doing that at this time. I will spend the extra time I am going to have in my home (it's a freaking mess), visiting with people I care about, and going to other organized events where all I need to do is show up and be my charming self haha.